His Blah Materials

Well, I was right to be nervous about The Golden Compass. I saw it last night and it ended up being a truly frustrating experience.

I have made no bones about that fact that I adore the His Dark Materials trilogy. It is a thrilling, intellectually satisfying story with vibrant characters and what feels like a truly original point of view (OK, I realise its probably not, but in my limited fantasy experience it felt like a bolt from the blue).

I realise the difficulties that The Golden Compass would have in being adapted. The exposition alone would be a nightmare. But if The Lord of the Rings films proved anything, it was that endless exposition (and lets face it, the first 40 minutes of Fellowship is nothing but exposition) need not be boring.

I can pretty easily point to the two areas which really doom this film;

1) Chris Weitz – I have nothing but love for Weitz’ work on both American Pie and About a Boy. The latter in particular, is a beautiful example of taking the strengths of a novel and expanding them for the screen. But his script for The Golden Compass feels oddly truncated – a series of events rather than an actual story and with little patience for character. But it is his work as a director which really grates. He has no real visual style, no sense of the epic. He fails utterly to invoke any sense of wonder or menace. Its anonymous, boring work for the most part, leaving the great technical work and especially the actors, all at sea.

2) The running time – Normally I am not a big fan of but numbing running times. But at under 2 hours, The Golden Compass just whistles by, leaving no sense of drama or peril. It is the worst kind of drama in that it is superficially complex, but ultimately uninvolving. Weitz seems so determined to just get the [particulars of the plot in place, that he ignores the importance of the relationships which underpin the book. Even 20 minutes extra would have given the film some room to breathe.

Now these two points are enough for me to pretty much dismiss the film as a disappointment. But, there are some aspects of it which really work;

1) The casting – Kidman has been getting a lot of praise, and she deserves it,. She is a fabulously cold bitch. Sam Elliot, Daniel Craig, Ian McKellen and Freddie Highmore (as the voices of Iorek and Pan) are all superb. But my favourite performance may be from Eva Green who nails Serafina Pekkala perfectly, but is given too little screen time. Dakota Blue Richards is probably the actor who suffers most from Weitz inadequacies. She is very good at projecting Lyra’s toughness and bravery, but is awkward and unconvincing at the more emotional moments.

2) The design work is beautiful throughout – kudos to production and costume designers who create a believable, almost 30s aesthetic for the whole film. Its just a shame that Weitz couldn’t figure out how to show it off better.

3) I was afraid that the daemons would somehow clutter up the screen, but they are nicely done on the whole. The effects work on Coulter’s monkey however is easily the worst – it’s the one area where I distinctly hate the design, but the CGI is also far too cartoony and weightless.

4) The final battle is actually quite stirring – everybody gets to play their part in some way, and it is fast, brutal and very satisfying. In particular, I love how they have designed the movements of the witches, who seem to float like ghosts above the action.

The best scene in the entire film is Lyra’s encounter with the king of the armoured bears, followed by the big bear fight. It’s very well acted by Dakota, and Ian McShane’s vocal work in particular is fantastic. The bear fight is surprisingly violent – it features a killing blow which reminds me very much of what happened to the T-Rex in King Kong. People cheered in the screening I was in, which surprised me.

The more overt religious aspects have been toned down for the film. At one point, Kidman’s character is talking about Dust, when what she actually means is sin, and that slightly muddled theological gambit is not going to make things any clearer to newbies. The real challenge comes in the next two films (if they get made) where the religious aspects will be almost impossible to bowdlerise.

I admit, I find it difficult to predict how those who have not read the books are going to react to this film. The reviews have been all over the place. The two guys who I saw it with last night (and who had not read the books) liked it much more than I did. I think it will do well, but whether or not it will be quite as big as Narnia is debatable. I would love to see The Subtle Knife greenlit, but hopefully with a director and writer who could truly make the material sing. Could they just page Alfonso Cuaron?

Final Thought – I think its madness that they didn’t include the ending of the book. I think The Golden Compass needs to give people a reason to want to go back in 2 years time, and the film just sort of runs out of breath. If they had included the final moments, it would have really given the film a huge boost and arguably have left people wanting so much more.

The Best Reaction to the Mohammed/Teddy Fiasco...

... belongs to the brilliant Dan Savage, sex comlunist for The Stranger in Seattle;

Gee, sentenced to be deported. You’re really twisting the ol’ knife there, Sudan. No doubt after being arrested on a bullshit blasphemy charge, threatened with forty lashes and six months in prison, and then packed off to a prison for two weeks where she’s likely to encounter physical violence and may just contract malaria—I’m sure after enduring all that, Sudan, remaining in your shithole country was Gibbons’ fondest wish.

Before I go home tonight I’m going to pop across the street to the new Crypt, buy myself a buttplug, and name the fucking thing Mohammed. Christ.

It ain't subtle, but it is damn funny!

Worshipping at the MotherShip

I AM GOING TO SEE KYLIE!!!!

Yes, I am finally going to be able to pay my respects to Her Poppiness next July in London!!!!

I haven't heard the new album yet (I know, I know, what kind of acolyte am I?) but have heard surprisingly strong reviews. If Shane Ward weren't so sexy, I would currently be attempting to destroy his career for debuting higher than Kylie in last week's chart.

Anyway, in celebration, here is an example of Kylie at her most iconic with Nick Cave in the superbly creepy Where the Wild Roses Grow...

The Descent

I had the distinct pleasure of watching The Descent again on Monday night.

Well, I am not sure if pleasure is exactly the word. This is my second time seeing the film, and if anything, I admire it all the more this time around. It is, for me, the best horror film of the last couple of years - a superbly written and directed slice of survival horror that effectively balances and mixes claustrophobic terror and heart-thumping 'gotcha' moments.

I saw Neil Marshall's first movie, Dog Soldiers a couple of years ago. I found it a funny, entertaining film, but not much else besides that. The Descent is a leap forward in almost every sense. The script alone is superior to 95% of what passes for horror. Marshall has created six believable, likeable women, without necessarily having to assign them an arbitrary personality tic. They also aren't just chicks with dicks. They interact in a natural way and Marshall and his wonderful cast quite subtly lay the groundwork for a lot of the shit that later hits the fan. The use of lighting deftly mixes beautiful, haunting imagery while ratcheting up the tension. And the monsters are suitably disgusting.

The film breaks nicely into three acts - the set-up, the initial climb and cave-in and finally the monster attack. As a piece of storytelling, it is wonderfully economical. As a piece of filmmaking purely designed to make you shit yourself, Marshall shows hacks like Eli Roth exactly how it should be done by masterfully using sound and lighting and the claustrophobia of the women's surroundings to do most of the work.

Too often, women in horror films are foregrounded as the main characters, only to be used as a prop for torture. While horrible things happen to these women, you can sense that Marshall sees them as human beings, and he is rewarded by strong performances across the board. That sense of essential humanity is, finally, what gives The Descent its kick and makes it such a classic-in-the-waiting.

This post may get a little... filthy...

Batman Returns is, easily, the most perverted family film ever made. Fuck it, its not even a family film. I would think long and hard before letting a kid under the age of 10 watch this.

I mean, its not like I didn’t know about the perviness of Batman Returns. Its part of the reason it has remained my favourite of the franchise. But while later Batmans, especially the Joel Shumachers one, traded in that groove for camp, Returns revels in its kink.

Keaton and Pfeiffer flirt charmingly in the day, then don SM gear and bash each other senseless. There is something disturbed but exhilarating about their scenes which takes Batman into a weirder, more rewarding place.

The Penguin plot is decent enough (Danni DeVito is a hoot). And while the action scenes are a staid and the drama a little inert for the most part, it is a lush, sumptuous looking film.

But it is Pfeiffer, and to a lesser extent, Keaton, who really elevate the film.

Pfeiffer is, hands down, gives the greatest, most intense performance in a comic book film ever. It may also be the finest moment of this marvellous actress’s career. Selina Kyle is a loser, but Pfeiffer finds her charm and vulnerability as well as the seething anger in her early scenes. Once she is transformed into Catwoman, she begins a tricky, fascinating descent into complete schizophrenia.

It is a crime that Pfeiffer never got to explore Catwoman again. Her vocal work, her body language and the pain that she evokes as the walls between Selina and Catwoman break down should have won the fearless actress an Oscar. She bursts through the noisy action of the third act to become a truly awesome figure.

Pfeiffer seemed to drop out of sight for a couple of years but she has made a big comeback, deliciously playing bitches and witches in Hairspray and Stardust this summer. I hope this gives her a long-awaited third act, and recognition for just how intelligent and forceful she is onscreen.